“There are certain qualities required to be a successful salesperson, of which you have none’.
Those were the first words that I was greeted with by my first sales manager on the first day of starting my new job in sales.
It was the mid 80’s and he really did not like me at all. So much so that he struggled to hide his emotions and what he was feeling whenever he engaged me.
I use this story when talking at events to demonstrate how powerful words can be impacting your confidence. I also use it to touch lightly on Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence (aka EQ) is the ability to understand, use and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, to communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
I remember using the statement as fuel to drive myself. Not to prove him wrong – I never gave a stuff what he thought of me. But more a ‘first bump in the road’ in getting where I wanted to go.
The phrase ‘Emotional Intelligence came out a few years later. The premise is that you need to be aware of when your emotions could get in the way of how you communicate, make decisions and how those emotions impact others. Some are born with a high EQ, some work at it to become good leaders and develop great relationships and others probably don’t care.
The point is, speaking or acting, when driven by a negative emotion can hurt people and contribute to form part of their belief system in their future. This may not serve them well.
Some of the people that I help have these beliefs as a result of things they’ve been told, so we talk about where these beliefs come from and how to change them into something that will better serve them.
Let’s be careful out there. Your words could be a loaded weapon.
PS. I was an excellent sales professional/manager/leader